Most people don’t intentionally marry a narcissist. Narcissistic personality disorder is a very serious mental health condition. It is a Cluster B personality disorder that results in abusive or manipulative behavior.
People with narcissistic personality disorder or narcissistic traits may desperately try to control how others perceive them. That can make divorce involving a narcissist particularly difficult. Individuals who know their spouse has narcissistic personality disorder or have seen them demonstrate narcissistic traits may need to prepare for divorce particularly carefully.
How do those divorcing a narcissist protect themselves throughout the process?
By keeping things quiet
People with narcissistic personality traits often have strong reactions to perceived judgment or rejection. They are likely to become very vindictive when they learn about a pending divorce.
They may destroy property, refuse to disclose financial records and try to weaponize the legal process. People hoping to divorce a narcissistic spouse generally need to prepare quietly by getting legal help, gathering financial records and preparing to file without involving their spouse.
By preparing for social fallout
Narcissists frequently begin disinformation campaigns when faced with situations that could undermine their public perception. They may reach out to friends, family and even employers to spread false information about the other spouse.
They may conduct a public relations campaign on social media to make themselves look like a doting parent or concerned spouse. People may need to talk to their close loved ones, including family, friends and even coworkers, before or immediately after they file to advise them of the disinformation campaign that is likely to occur.
By avoiding easily-manipulated situations
Mediation can be an excellent divorce alternative for many couples. However, narcissists can easily convey their best selves in small doses to mediators and other professionals. Those divorcing a narcissist may obtain the best outcome by avoiding scenarios in which a narcissist can weaponize their charm.
People preparing for complex divorces that may become highly contentious often need help from the earliest stages, possibly months before they file. Seeking legal guidance to learn about the various laws that apply in a divorce scenario can help people prepare for a divorce in which misconduct by a spouse is likely to occur.